...but the memory remains

The best decade of my short life and I am pretty sure at the end it will be surely up there as the best periods of my life. The horrendous 90s and the century and millennium had just ended. I was falling in love for the first time. Ranchi, my first love gave me wings to fly. Pepsi and chocolates had given way to movies and card games all night. I was a nocturnal by the time I finished my school. Delhi was a nice fling, memorable for the ups and downs. Then I went through undoubtedly the best 4 years of my life when I made friends for life. Stumbled a lot learnt even more for my friends were stumbling and falling too once in a while. Aug 04 and Sid committed one of the gravest mistakes of his life as I tasted Rum. Come Jan 05 I too committed the biggest mistake of my life as I tasted cigarette. Reading books, internet, Metallica and Rock casted an everlasting spell on me. 06 when the nation was about to wake up to celebrate its 60^thindependence day I as almost in jail. I got a girlfriend in Alcohol and a wife in dope. When I had money in my pocket I spent it on my girlfriend but my wife was always there to take care of a broke me. She loved me for all my failings and I loved her as much. But as all good things come to an end I finished my college and survived the agony of the last day with all my mates. Kolkata the place where I came alone and left with relations thicker than blood. Academically it was to be the formatting decade of my life. I was supposed to waste all these years learning how to waste the rest of my life. “Magar yeh to koi na jane ke meri manzil hai kahan” ;)

Last decade started with this song and this decade made me realize that nobody means even I myself don’t know the answer. May the new decade bring me the light to the path where I am destined.

Adios amigo.

At the end a dedication to Steffi Graf:

य़ू तो हसीनों के महजबीनों के

होते हैं रोज नज़ारे

पर उन्हें देख के देखा है जब तुम्हे

तुम लगे और भी प्यारे |

The Wrestler

I used to follow wrestling in my teens but slowly the interest faded because of the drama wrestlers of today are putting, or being told to put in the ring. They have made wrestling a soap opera. I remember once talking to friends and saying “Is ekta kapoor directing the shows or what? “ I still make fun of my brother who is a wrestling fanatic. I can’t even imagine myself watching even 5 minutes of those shows. And such a guy says Wrestler is a must watch.

What magnificent portrayal of the life. As for the direction and details the films opens up the world of professional wrestling for the viewers, but it never ridicule what they do. What make the movie worth watching are the emotions that the viewer has to wrestle through. The film depicts the life of an aging superstar with such mastery that your heart goes out for him.

I see no one doing justice to that role other than Mickey Rourke. Not even close. Certainly and by far his best performance. If they start making scripts like this for a star’s comeback many dead will be willing to come out of their graves. One of my favorites. Not just its better than Rocky its one of the best sports movies that I have seen and I have seen many ;)

P.S. No more making fun of my bro.

Untitled

दिन रात के इस खेल में
दुनिया की भागती रेल में
सब सुन्न से बैठे हुए हैं
कुछ बन्धनों से ऐठे हुए हैं |
दिखता है सब जो हो रहा है
हर पल ही कुछ खो रहा है |
फूंका ये मंत्र इनपर है किसने
बांध दी है इनकी मति जिसने |
नहीं क्यों खौलता अब रक्त
सब हैं क्यों इतने आसक्त |
ये देख मैं कभी सोचता हूँ
मन को जरा कचोटता हूँ

मिल जाये उत्तर अब तो यही एक रास्ता है ,
जब टूट चूका उस बंधन से ही वास्ता है |
लौट कर जाना कठिन अब लग रहा उस भ्रम के अन्दर
मनुष्य आज भी जहा असल में एक बन्दर |
भले ही आज हम पका कर खाते हैं,
खुले तन में अब हम शरमाते हैं ,
यही तो दुःख है हम इस मिथ्या में ही भरमा गए हैं
ठहर कर देखो कहाँ थे, कहाँ आ गए हैं |

प्रश्न दुविधा संदेह में हाय मैं कैसा फंसा हु
अधेरे में खींचती माया के दलदल में धंसा हु
अब चाह इतनी सी यही है
देखू बस एक बार के क्या सही है
नहीं बचना मुझे इस काल मुख से
नहीं आसक्ति मुझको कोई सुख से
छा रही है फिर सर्वस्व धुंध काली
पुनः संसार चक्र में जीवित निगलने वाली |

जन्म से मृत्यु की दिनचर्या बनायीं इश्वर के डर से
बताई हुई कोई एक राह पकड़ी डर कर समर से
अगर बल है तो अपनी बात हम सशस्त्र परोसते हैं
जो हैं कमजोर अपने भाग्य को वह कोसते हैं
क्यों आये हैं हम ? है क्यों ये जन्म इस धरा पर ?
समय ही नहीं कि कोई सोचे इसपर बराबर
सफलता, धन धान्य, मोह माया को पकड़े
श्रेष्टता के उसी दिवा स्वप्न में जकड़े
बिताते जा रहे हम समय ये बहुमूल्य सोकर
खुलेगी नींद मानवता की अब सर्वस्व खोकर |

.... and then they said 'Enough is enough !! '

After sunset kids were not allowed to go out. Buying a car was invitation to criminals to kidnap any of your family members, for you have shown them that you have money. Extortion was the fastest growing industry. The roads were in such a condition that a pregnant lady feared of giving birth on the way to hospital. No rules and regulations in offices. People who thrived were either criminals or were well connected. People waited, so did their leader. Fighting elections after election only to lose made them older but stronger than before.

Today youngsters are enjoying late night parties. On Dhanteras cars worth 200 Crore was sold in just one day. Cars are touching 100 Kmph on highways. Highways of today are not narrow strip marked by potholes but are 4-lane and well maintained.

Yes, not everything has changed. Corruption persists. So does poverty, illiteracy and crime. But looking back and comparing to the days that we all been through, gives a feeling of satisfaction. Satisfaction that the fight is leading somewhere. Few more battles to win and then the limping state will start to walk.

The victory was certain but the ‘social engineering’ made it whooping. People are going to conclude that the victor played his cards well. But many results are unprecedented. BJP’s hindu candidate winning election in a constituency of over 75% muslim. Earlier When I used to hear people talk after or during election they used to talk about religion cast etc. This time they had decided, although it took time more than a decade, to vote for what was best for them. Independent candidates loosing almost everywhere was a sign that people wanted only one man to lead them. The man who fought alongside them all those years.

It’s a coup which took 15 years to materialize. No shots fired no blood in this battle still the effect far more effective and fruitful. Sometimes I used to think that like all the modes of governance democracy is going to collapse one day but this victory has given hope to democracy. It’s a hope to everyone suffering. It does not promise to change things overnight; the span might even outlast a generation.

Emotional Blackmail

बुढा हो गया हूँ मरने से पहले बहु नसीब होगी या नहीं ?

> अपने मरने से पहले दुसरे के मरने का इंतजाम | hihihihi

> अभी आपको बहु चाहिए, १ साल के बाद इसी मरने के तर्क पर आप एक पोता भी मांगेंगे |

यही समाज का रिवाज है

> समाज का रिवाज़ तो सती प्रथा भी थी , जो इस वक़्त हम गलत समझते हैं |

परिवार कि अवहेलना कर रहे हो

>अवहेलना तब होती जब मैं इस लायक ही न होता कि मैं किसी लड़की कि जिम्मेदारी ले सकू |

माँ बाप बच्चों के लिए कितना कष्ट उठाते हैं

> कष्ट हमने भी उठाये हैं | ये जानते हुए भी के पढाई लिखाई समय कि बर्बादी है हम लगे रहे हैं दिन रात | वरना नहीं पढना किसे अच्छा नहीं लगता | देखिये उन लडको को जो आवारा निकल गए, उनके माँ बाप उनकी शादी के लिए चिंतित हैं लेकिन लड़के पर दबाव नहीं | गैर जिम्मेदार होने का इनाम पा रहे हैं वो लड़के |

अगर हमारे बलिदान देने से आपका कोई हित होता है तो किसी भी परीक्षा से गुजरने को तैयार हैं | आप हमें खुश देखना चाहते हैं, वो हम हैं | आपकी ये जिद इशारा कर रही है आपके किसी और मकसद का | समाज द्वारा आपको दी गयी "कथित" जिम्मेदारी के निर्वाह का | जो कि हमारे समझ के बाहर है |

A Memory Coined

On the way to Muzaffarpur from my nanihal there is Dumariya Ghat Bridge, considered sacred for reasons unknown to me. As we were approaching the bridge I told ma that the bridge you threw coins from was coming. She laughed. So did I. She knew I was being sarcastic of this ritual of throwing coins in river in the name of faith. She took out few coins and threw it in the river when we were on the bridge, a practice I have seen her following ever since I started making memories. She must be doing it even before that. Then she narrated how papa used to frown whenever she asked him to slow down the car to throw the coins. He used to say if throwing few coins is going to bring good luck then why didn’t she took out all her jewelry and threw them in the river.
I guess the humor that I find in some, or rather most, of the rituals is something as hereditary as my receding hairline. :D

Who is to blame?

I broke my lappy few days back. .. thats a different topic will talk about that later.nothing to do so i was surfing the tv channels at the strike of hour AAJ TAK was showing temperatures of various capital cities of Indian states. The mercury dipping like anything made me go curious to know the temp and sufferings of my fellow countrymen. But at the end of the minutes long graphics was shocked and angry and disgusted. well disgust is something that usually comes after watchng any news channel, but this time the reason was something different.

The bloody channel showed temperature of Guwahati and then came down south to Kolkata. Now when China clams Arunachal P to be their territory then what different are these people doing? I was shocked to see that these news channel dont even consider showing the temperature of the NE states.And the next time China claims some Indian state to be theirs then watch out for the same channels crying their lungs out.

Hypocrite Bastards !!!!!

Lesson Revised

End of day three, Pakistan had Australia under their heels bleeding. On day four the test match ended but it was Australians who were seen having the last laugh. It was only the 5th time that a team trailing by more than 200 runs have come victorious, and Australians truly deserved to be one of those teams.While watching an Aus Vs Pak test match I was thinking of Saurav Ganguly. Any one can win a couple of days of battle with the Australians, but very few had the will to go on to win the war. Dada was one such warrior.Even today when I look at the beaming members of team India I always see an invisible face in background. A smiling Saurav Ganguly.

The man who taught us how to win when we are supposed to, and also quite a few times how to win when we were not supposed to.Pakistan lost a match not for the lack of skill or talent. The men who are good enough to have the opponent on the mat are equally capable of winning, but for the determination and belief. Pakistan lacked that, at least nowadays they do. I missed Dada the day India was crowned No. 1 in test ranking. And even today I remembered him. I am thankful that one of the finest leader once led a pack of few of my countrymen. A team in which very few supporters truly believed. Actually those who didn't believe can't be termed supporters. So i will rephrase- He led a team which had very few 'supporters'.

Thank you Dada, for the memories, for the victories, for giving team India a lot more supporters.But above all thank you for a live demonstration of so valuable a lesson 'Belief'.