Why ?

So, like every other time he speeds up. Wind starts to flow past his ears like silk. The sight around him goes a little blur, just a little. Like a painting on calm water. a littlel shaken. (and then he even laughs at the pun "Martini, Shaken but not stirred!!"). Its perfect, but something is missing. Silence. So he kills the engine. The turf below is so smooth that it feels just like flying in the air like the birds with wings open idly staying still in the air. Momentum carries him forward- closer towards the edge of the cliff. No thoughts of hitting the brakes. After all its so perfect. No one should interrupt it. He lays still lost in thoughts.

But like every other time the brakes are applied. Like every other time he stops. and like every other times he returns trying to find out WHY ???

Love

What is love?

To have watched Rahane bat.
The way he batted was like some one showed that true love can still conquer in the times of 'change' 'sponteinity' 'instinct'

( i used those words because its tough to degrade Love with words like 'Lust' 'Convenience' 'Compromise' 'Compatiblity' )

Thanx Rahane for this innings but more for proving many people right who believed in you long time ago.

What is love?

To have watched some one score a goal. Win a slam or a GP. To listen to music that free you from all misery. To have spent a night talking to your friends. To have jumped off a cliff and flown like a bird for few seconds (no thanks to human limitations) before your parachute opens. etc.

Sports, Games, Adventure. then Music, Movies, Arts, Nature (a drunkard me might hv missed a few)

I believe if someone says he/she loves 'some one' then that some one should accept that love. Any one who devotes time on things/people other than those few things mentioned above does not deserve to get deprived (that soul is already deprived of so many things :P )

A cruelty so ceremonially Arranged !

The place where I have my joints is a playground. Elderly people also come there for evening walk. There I saw this old man daily. He must have started coming recently because I recognize all the familiar faces. Watching people from a distance that too after being high, Oh! so amazing. I don't know what but something told me he is coming there because he has got nothing else to do. May be he reminded me of some one I once knew personally. I came back and then thought of him. May be his wife died recently, well I hope not and certainly wish not but it was a possibility. And then I realized, if two souls got married, exchanged the vows and stood by it. Ideally this is what going to happen :

Their lives will change. Call it love or compromise or just plain humanity they will get all attached and dependent on each other. Love of a different kind. Then a day will come when one of the two will die. The pain of loosing some one you loved all your life is something 26 alphabets cant describe. What the hell that one person alone in this mad crazy world is going to do now? Eventually he/she will succumb too. But it will not be like movies where both depart together. One will have to suffer the longing for a while, may be years. To make matter worse the one person who was the strength which was right beside all along until then will be no more to help. So, why society is so hell bend on punishing some one with such a term. Yeah, I remember 'City of Angels' where Cage says "I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it." But he was in Love.

There are people who are neither in love nor willing to be.

Most of these people are gonna get screwed !

Nightmare

Y'day night's dream (I hope it's not some kind of premonition):
I'm about to die and have been granted one last wish. One thing in my life I've never been away from is Friends. Never. Even when I was far off thousands of miles away at least one of them has always been there. So, my instant reply was for permission to bring at least one friend along with me? Till this it was going smooth. Sound sleep.But then the tension of 'whom to pick' woke me up.
Those whom I love make my moments memorable but how can I wish for their death just so to have a nice time. Those who are not good company have also not done something that bad to deserve double punishment. First to die and then to get bored with me.
Cursed Love !!!

The Return

My brother is home. So guess what the WWE season is on. With nothing to do I sometimes sit with him to watch few episodes. 'The wrestler' movie has a big push in driving me back to WWE. After reading an article on current captaincy scenario in cricket Australia as ponting is returning at helm ahead of David Warner right now I'm watching the return of "The Heartbreak Kid' Shawn Michaels.

HHH is in the ring to welcome him . What they are conversing on the stage is awesome. Doesnt matter scripted or not. Its like the time when a wild friend returns to wild and finds his best friend now all changed. HHH refused to fight The Undertaker. So for HBK now he is a coward. Still, wild HBK can't understand what is going through HHH's head. HHH tells him that by refusing to fight he is keeping the bussiness alive and for HBK its something he just cant understand. The ring was their life. They are what they are because of what they did in the ring but now HHH is content to give up that life. HBK just cant fathom how is he managing to do that. to give it up all. Never thought on a WWE stage I will see such tussle. Ah! the never ending war between 'giving up you Life' to have a secured life.

If one dosen't bother going into the debate who will win if they fight, what tribute HHH pays to The Undertaker. The undertaker is business because people love him and keeping his aura alive is his job now. But whats worrying him more is that defeating Undertaker will mean an end to an era. The era where men fought like men. His era. HBK's era.

In other sports/entertainments I followed also, in almost everything, an era is coming to an end.

Will you be my Valentine?

बात ही कुछ और थी

तुम्हारे आने की आहट से मेरे गम के जाने की
बात ही कुछ और थी |
तुम्हारी हंसी से कली के खिलने की
बात ही कुछ और थी |
तुम्हारी याद भर से मेरे मुस्कुराने की
बात ही कुछ और थी |
किसी के लिए दुनिया से लड़ने की
बात ही कुछ और थी |

दो पल की भी दुरी न सह पाने की
बात ही कुछ और थी |

लेकिन सब भूल कर,
मुझे अंधेरों में छोड़ कर
तुम्हारे यूँ ही चले जाने की
क्या बताये कि वो रात ही कुछ और थी |

Love

Yeah, love is a beautiful feeling. It has got all the rights to be so. So much of happiness, joy and not even a moment of loneliness. You are flying high like birds, hands having replaced by wings and doing a tango or salsa with your friend. But to feel that you need to fly in your dreams.

I cant fly, sorry, i cant. Not even in my dreams. So what shall I do now.

Fall in love with someone's happiness. May be I was designed to feel like that. The moment when bird sees the partner flying alongside, if they have tears in their eyes then believe me I feel the same warmth when I see someone fly immaterial of I'm watching it from the ground because I cant fly.

I can only escape !!!!

.. who cares if it did not win even a single oscar

Although its a movie about a cop chasing a criminal, the two focal characters are beyond the judgment of good bad evil. No matter what they are doing, how or with whom, I am not experienced, qualified or arrogant enough to pass a judgment on their actions. They believe in their karma and they are following it. If people whose lives they are touching can accommodate them good otherwise these two will let them go. One is doing it slowly and the other is prepared to do it instantly and he did so when it was time. To them purpose of life is not to just be born, populate and then die not knowing or feeling what they wasted their lives for. So pure is their pursuit that other emotions can confuse people. eg Love. They will not stop for their loved ones but their love is pure. Its a life story of two monks, who kill people, love a woman , get angry too.

Conjuring up two of the strongest characters ever to be portrayed on silver screen is a feat in itself. Hats off to Michel Mann for accommodating them in one story. In my opinion if you ask De Niro or Pacino if they want to switch their roles, they would happily do it, such is the equilibrium. Music one of the best ever. Breathtaking scenes. Some unforgettable dialog. When the movie starts look at the name of cast carefully, you will hardly find an actor/ actress as talented as Portman getting his/her mention after a dozen. Non of them out of place, non of them without taking the movie forward. Its like an art having numerous dimensions everybody will look at it differently. Its drama. Its thriller. Its love story. Its Action. I have seen it hundreds of times and yet I find this movie an endless space of brilliance. The discovery continues.

~ it was long overdue.

Love is Suicide ?

Love is a war. Lovers have to fight many a fights to come victorious. Sometimes loosing for long make people weak and they give up midway. But what the beauty of love is you can loose all these little battles but if you get up and fight again pursue what you believe in you will ultimately get the final victory. Victory that matters. Same goes with suicide. You might fail. Again and again and again. But if you are dedicated enough you will win at the end. You need to win just once ;) So, although some people say Love is Suicide and they have their reasons.

I believe Suicide is Love.

हे भगवान !!!!

मैं नास्तिक हूँ फिर भी आज भगवान पर चर्चा करूँगा |

सब कहते हैं (सब से मेरा मतलब उन लोगों से है जो उसे भगवन नहीं मानतें )
अगर सचिन भगवान है तो देश को विश्व विजयी बनाने में उसने २२ साल क्यों लगाये ?? ... क्या उसमें इतना दम नहीं ??
देश को test # 1 बनाने में २१ साल क्यों लगाये ?? ... क्या उसका मन नहीं ???
हमने आज तक जीत दर्ज क्यों नहीं की उनकी धरती पर जबकि तुम्हारा भगवान 92, 99, 04, 07 में australia जा चूका है ?? क्या देश विजय उसका रण नहीं ??
(यहाँ आप शब्दों की हेरा फेरी देखिये .. उपरितार्थ कहे गए का एक मतलब ये भी है के : जा कर जीतने से चुक गया है )

हाँ तो जो लोग ऐसी बातें करते हैं उनसे मेरा सवाल है

सुनामी आती है निर्दोष मरे जाते हैं क्या उन्हें बचाना तुम्हारे भगवान का धर्म नहीं ???
क्या गरीबी से मर रहे बच्चो बुढो माताओ को बचाना क्या तुम्हारे भगवान का कर्म नहीं ??
पापी आज संसार में इतना आगे बढ़ गए क्या ये तुम्हारे भगवान की आँखों के सामने हो रहा रहा अधर्म नहीं ??
उसी के नाम पर लाखों लोग मार दिए जाते हैं. इस बात से तनिक भी आती उसे शर्म नहीं ???

तुम इतनी असहाय सी कल्पना को अपना भगवान मानते हो ! और मैं तुम लोगों की बकवास सुनता हूँ ! भगवान और धर्म के नाम पर किये गए तुम्हारे अत्याचार सहता हूँ तो तुम क्यों नहीं चुप चाप उसकी बात सुन लेते हो जो सचिन को अपना भगवान मानता है |
क्या सचिन के नाम पर बाबरी मस्जिद गिराया किसी ने ??
क्या उसके नाम पर तोडा कोई मंदिर किसी ने ??
कोई पादरी जला नहीं उसके नाम पर क्या उसका दोष यही है ??
उसे भगवान नाम देना क्या सही है ??

विनती है मेरी : उसे भगवान न कहिये . उसके नाम पे किसी ने किसी को कोई भी कुकर्म करने के लिए नहीं उकसाया है |
और अगर जिसे लगता है के उसे भगवान कहना गलत है
तो अगर मैं तुम्हारे भगवान को झेल सकता हूँ. तो तुम्हे भी सचिन को भगवान मानने वालो की श्रधा का अपमान नहीं करना चाहिए |

The Day After Tomorrow

पवार साहब

जो बीत गयी सो बात गयी | जो हो गया उसपर सोचने का क्या फायदा | अब आपको यह सोचना है कि कल क्या हो सकता है |

क्रिकेट प्रेमी रन , विकेट , जीत, हार इत्यादि के लिए कितने अन्धविश्वासी होते हैं ये बात किसी से छुपी नहीं है | लोग घंटो एक ही जगह बैठे रह जाते हैं , शौचालय नहीं जाने से आने वाली कठिनाई तक को सह लेते हैं | ये सब मैं आपको क्यों बता रहा हूँ आप तो स्वयं ICC अध्यक्ष हैं | कृषि मंत्री के नाते भले ही खेती की जानकारी आपकी शुन्य है लेकिन क्रिकेट का जानकर तो हर देशवासी है | भले ही वो देशवासी आप जैसा देशद्रोही क्यों न हो |

देखिये क्रिकेट की बात चली तो मैं भी भावुक हो गया और असल मुद्दे से भटक गया |

पवार बाबु आप भले ही लोगो को ये समझा सकें कि महंगाई क्यों बढ़ी? आप भले ही उन्हें ये विश्वास दिला सकें कि आपने निरंतर और हरसंभव प्रयास किया है महंगाई की रफ़्तार पर अंकुश लगाने का | लोगो को शायद ये भी यकीन हो जाये के आपने कृषि मंत्री के दाइत्व का निर्वाह पूरी निष्ठा से किया है |

लेकिन आज के थप्पड़ की घटना के बाद अगर कल सचिन शतक लगा देगा तो स्वयं ब्रह्मा भी सचिन भक्त को ये नहीं समझा पाएंगे कि आपकी पिटाई और ठीक अगले ही दिन सचिन के शतक का लगना मात्र एक संयोग था | आपने पढ़ा तो होगा ही कि जब भी सचिन बल्लेबाजी को जाता है देश एक शतक की उम्मीद करता है|

जाइये देश से अपने पापों की क्षमा मांगिये | सचिन भगवान नहीं है , आपको दोबारा कभी न पिटने का वरदान तो नहीं देगा लेकिन उपाय तो निकल ही आयेगा |

और अगर आप ये नहीं करना चाहते तो फिर कल के बाद ICC को आदेश दे दीजियेगा कि सचिन जिस मैदान में बल्लेबाजी को उतरे वहां सुरक्षा इंतजाम न करा कर आपकी सुरक्षा का ध्यान रखे |

~ आपका शुभचिंतक

आज तो आपके कांग्रेसी मित्र भाजपा के नेता को भड़काऊ भाषण का दोषी कह दे रहे हैं, सचिन के शतक को दोषी कौन कहेगा?

Before the start of WC i told "If Sri Lanka will win the world cup, I'll never watch an ODI again." So now it boils down to the final. Yes, Srilanka is in the final. But the truth is on they way they never beat any team that was pre-tournament favourite. I like Murali and sanga but their is something about the cricket of SriLanka that I never came to like this team. They never have been world beaters so I'm certainly not jealous of them. Someting I can't figure.
I'll not be watching the final. So, India Vs Pak semi-final could be the last ODI i ever saw. No regrets. It was a good match. Certainly better than the final, if India were to loose it. But thats all in theory. I believe we will be the Champions this time. All the best team.
Sri lanka winning the cup will be an injustice and I might not change that system but i certainly will stop using it.

When we loose it off the field

I have very little regard for the English team, so I would not have accepted anything less than win when the match started. But I take heart from what India did in closing minutes of the game. I am disappointed why Dhoni did not attack more when he had a cushion of 338 runs. I am disappointed the way we fielded. I am disappointed the way we bowled. But I am proud of they way we fought back.

As England were cruising at 280-2 in 42 overs (needing 59 from 48 balls with power play left) I saw few spectators , those who think they are Indian fans, leaving the stadium. I put my agony in words and sent an sms to pagla jha : "Champ league 2005 final HT liverpool 0-3 down, still their fans blvd in their team, n in d end they won. y’day Slankan fans stayed d end even when defeat was sure. v as fans r as bad as our bowling n fielding"

As I pressed the send key, Bell got out and Strauss followed. With lots of twists and turns India managed to Tie the match.

And when I say ‘We’ it includes only those who stood their ground. When I see people leaving I get this picture in my mind where those people are running away from fights in life when chips are down. They either feel uncomfortable or stressed or i don't know what. So Cheating, bribing to get out of tricky situations because unlike cricket these deeds might go unnoticed. In the game of life the TV umpire is a tool of those who play the game. Few will say they left early because they wanted to avoid the traffic after the completion of the match. Well sir, you should have better stayed in the comfort of your home and watched the match on big screen TV, that way you would have avoided the traffic as well as the pollution you suffered while coming to the stadium. Anyway it’s a democracy, people have right to do what they want, as long as its not unlawful. And not believing in your team is neither a cardinal sin nor illegal. So go home. Live your lives and someday tell your sons and grandchildren that you were there to watch this epic encounter. Get the ticket of today’s match framed.

And I, the Idiot that I am, still hope for the day when we grow up as fans. I hope Cricket becomes a sports someday, for religion is too easy to be twisted by man for his own whims and fancies. I hope we learn lessons from what we see on the field. I hope we stand our ground and have the belief in ourselves and others. And I am going to watch the CL 2005 Final match, again.

The Equation: Kothari-Sur-Vin Hypothesis

Today Rathi asked a ques : How long does it takes for a person to get over a relationship???

Me : Half of the time he/she had been in that relationship. x = t/2

Kothari : Divide it by the number of times he/she had been in a relationship before, practice makes a man perfect. x=t/2n

Sur : Taking into consideration the emotional quotient of various human being, a coefficient is incorporated hence x= e.t/(2n)

x= time taken to recover

e= emotional co-efficient

t= time spent in that relationship

n= no. of previous relationship

Me : Practice makes a MAN perfect so for women no need to divide it by n ? (Why do I have this tendency to drag humor in everything :P)

Now i realize its height of idleness. First deriving that equation and now writing a blog about it. I do need Help !!!

PS : Although any further research in this regard will be updated, it seems unlikely for two reasons 1. We have pissed Rathi already

2. New day, new nonsense :P

Then and Now

Today on the occasion of republic day two stanzas are coming to mind.

One sung by our freedom fighters when they handed over the reigns of this nation to its people :

हम लाये हैं तूफ़ा से कश्ती निकाल के

इस देश को रखना मेरे बच्चों संभाल के

and then the other one my beloved nation is singing silently (..who knows may be with tears in eyes):

हमें तो अपनों ने लूटा गैरों में कहाँ दम था

मेरी कश्ती वही डूबी जहाँ पानी कम था

Selfishly Meaningless

Life is meaningless, but only in the form that its being currently marketed. I certainly don't blame the consumers subscribing to that commodity, after all catering it to their door step is one hell of popular brand ambassador 'GOD'. Jesus Ram Allah etc are just variations to attract possible customers. As pepsi endorses sachin as well as beckham etc to appeal to different masses.
Life is not meaningless excercise/tympass to various creatures who are still living in harmony with nature.

Just today I had a little conversation with my friends' dad. Rising petrol prices was the headline in todays newspaper, as i read it I exclaimed "good, i hope it goes higher." He agreed with with me and wished petrol prices to go Rs. 1000/l , along with little moderation and government effort to promote renewable sources of energy. Poor Mother Nature !!

An American Crime

I have just finished watching “An American Crime”. I was stoned for good few minutes after the credits started rolling. The night was never so silent for me recently. I was too shocked to even think something. Had it been a fiction the characters shown in the movie would have been more believable but it was a true story. Truth sometimes is really stranger than fiction. In this case it was shocking. Gut wrenching. Then the first thing I did was to search the case history on which the film is based on. I realize it only now that they have shown the evil but not in its true darkness. The makers mellowed it down. And still the movie is enough to shatter all notions of innocence and humanity.

In today’s world a picture has been so carefully put in front of us that women and children are the living examples of innocence. Have you seen innocence being described visually or being penned down in the shape of a man? If there are any they will be far and few. There is a beast within all of us. Years of thinking over and questioning the social design at least gave me a little head start in that regard. So, I never give anyone the benefit or disadvantage of doubt. Yet these 90 minutes were enough to have me think again. A must watch film for the riveting story it tells.

I was forced to write a blog, my second in space of just two days.

...but the memory remains

The best decade of my short life and I am pretty sure at the end it will be surely up there as the best periods of my life. The horrendous 90s and the century and millennium had just ended. I was falling in love for the first time. Ranchi, my first love gave me wings to fly. Pepsi and chocolates had given way to movies and card games all night. I was a nocturnal by the time I finished my school. Delhi was a nice fling, memorable for the ups and downs. Then I went through undoubtedly the best 4 years of my life when I made friends for life. Stumbled a lot learnt even more for my friends were stumbling and falling too once in a while. Aug 04 and Sid committed one of the gravest mistakes of his life as I tasted Rum. Come Jan 05 I too committed the biggest mistake of my life as I tasted cigarette. Reading books, internet, Metallica and Rock casted an everlasting spell on me. 06 when the nation was about to wake up to celebrate its 60^thindependence day I as almost in jail. I got a girlfriend in Alcohol and a wife in dope. When I had money in my pocket I spent it on my girlfriend but my wife was always there to take care of a broke me. She loved me for all my failings and I loved her as much. But as all good things come to an end I finished my college and survived the agony of the last day with all my mates. Kolkata the place where I came alone and left with relations thicker than blood. Academically it was to be the formatting decade of my life. I was supposed to waste all these years learning how to waste the rest of my life. “Magar yeh to koi na jane ke meri manzil hai kahan” ;)

Last decade started with this song and this decade made me realize that nobody means even I myself don’t know the answer. May the new decade bring me the light to the path where I am destined.

Adios amigo.

At the end a dedication to Steffi Graf:

य़ू तो हसीनों के महजबीनों के

होते हैं रोज नज़ारे

पर उन्हें देख के देखा है जब तुम्हे

तुम लगे और भी प्यारे |

The Wrestler

I used to follow wrestling in my teens but slowly the interest faded because of the drama wrestlers of today are putting, or being told to put in the ring. They have made wrestling a soap opera. I remember once talking to friends and saying “Is ekta kapoor directing the shows or what? “ I still make fun of my brother who is a wrestling fanatic. I can’t even imagine myself watching even 5 minutes of those shows. And such a guy says Wrestler is a must watch.

What magnificent portrayal of the life. As for the direction and details the films opens up the world of professional wrestling for the viewers, but it never ridicule what they do. What make the movie worth watching are the emotions that the viewer has to wrestle through. The film depicts the life of an aging superstar with such mastery that your heart goes out for him.

I see no one doing justice to that role other than Mickey Rourke. Not even close. Certainly and by far his best performance. If they start making scripts like this for a star’s comeback many dead will be willing to come out of their graves. One of my favorites. Not just its better than Rocky its one of the best sports movies that I have seen and I have seen many ;)

P.S. No more making fun of my bro.